In my last post, I shared common misperceptions that often stand in the way of women blogging as a way to share their message with the world. Sometimes, though, the reason women aren’t blogging has more to do with fear than misunderstanding.
How you can recognize if fear is at play so you can get out of your own way and share your message with the world?
Here are six signs.
If you’ve been spending hours researching the best blog platforms, agonizing over a blog title or domain name, or reading hundreds of how-to articles on blogging, this is a sure sign fear is holding you back.
In facing something new, the mind tells you: You must get it right!
So you get stuck trying to make sure you do - before you even start.
Everyone has different standards. Excellence is a core component of how I operate, so I’m not knocking putting in a little extra time and effort before you start blogging, but if that starts to feel like the end instead of the means, there’s good reason to believe it’s fear in disguise.
A close cousin to perfectionism. Maybe you’ve had ‘Start a blog” on your project list forever and you’re not taking regular steps toward launching. Or maybe you’ve broken the project down into the next smallest possible steps, but you find yourself inordinately busy all the time, constantly focusing on other aspects of your life or business. If so, that procrastination is masking something, most likely a fear of failure.
What if? The mind asks jumping into the future. What if no one reads it, or what if no one likes it?
Turning those thoughts around, you can see that what you’re really afraid of is What if no one pays attention to me? What if no one likes me?
Another sign that fear could be holding you from blogging as a way to share your message is if you find yourself shopping, eating, drinking, working, binge watching TV more than usual.
Blogging is, at its core, about being heard and seen.
Heard for your opinions. Seen for who you are.
In contrast, many heart-centered coaches, healers or creatives, have learned to hide, because when they were young hiding became the safest way for them to be in the world. Blogging about their business or the things they’re passionate about feels risky. It brings up uneasiness, and many people engage in numbing behaviors to avoid feeling that discomfort.
What if your sister reads your blog and takes offense? Or your old boss? What if it sits in someone’s email box and they never open it? Worrying about how others are going to react to your writing is another common guise for fear.
Here, the fear tries to control – control other people’s reaction to you – to your words, to your thoughts, to your standing in your truth – and stop you from doing something it perceives as new.
You can’t control any of that.
What you can control is whether or not you let let the fear stop you.
If you’re contemplating blogging and find yourself settling for something less, this could be another mask for fear. Settling can take different forms. “Oh, I’ll just email people when I have something to say.” “People can read about my opinions on social media or on my website” Or “I don’t need a blog, there are many successful business owners I know who don’t blog – they use word of mouth.”
All of those are true.
And yet, if there’s a part of you that longs to share her message with the world,
settling for something less because it feels safer means fear is holding you back.
Are you thinking about a blog but feel the urge to save up your thoughts for a book you’re going to write one day or for future paying clients? It can sound like: Ok, we’ll do this, eventually, but right now you need to save the material for your book. Or. Don’t give it all away! If you tell people how to help themselves in your blog, they’ll never come to you and buy your services!
Not doing something today, mentally putting it off to someday, allows the fear-driven mind to bargain with your essential self,
It provides an effective cover for fear.
If you find yourself thinking about blogging and feeling mired in perfectionism, procrastination, or distracting behaviors, or if you’re trying to control the outcome, settle for something less or save your message for some more important point in the future, chances are fear is at work and trying to stop you.
Your message needs to be heard! The good news is once you know what you’re dealing with, you can find strategies to combat it. In my next post, I’ll share some specific, practical steps you can take to do just that.
If you are a heart-centered coach, healer or creative with a message to share with the world who needs help creating programs, services and marketing messages that align with your authentic self, contact me for a free consultation call.