The small thought that keeps you from the thing you actually want to do
I caught myself the other day.
I was doing something – cleaning up from a meal, most likely – and I was thinking about my latest writing project. Suddenly I looked around at the counter, filled with odds and ends and to-be-done projects – lip balms and keys, geranium starts to plant and canned tomatoes to put in the pantry, I had the reflexive thought I need to get all this organized, then I'll have peace and space to write.
It took me only a few seconds of my thoughts then spinning around my house at a dizzying rate, noting alll the other sorting, organizing, and decluttering I wanted to do, before I caught myself.
It was a classic "once, then" moment.
In other words: Once I have my house decluttered, then I'll have the space to write.
I have these “once, then” thoughts more often than I'd like to admit. They go something like this…
Once I figure out my relationship with eating, I'll be happier. Once my leg strength improves, my pain will lessen. Once we move (or decide if we're moving,) I'll have more friends. Once I get more reading done, I'll feel more inspired...Once I get my office organized, I'll be better able to write.
You get the idea.
Stepping back, I can see that this is a habitual thought pattern. And it's one many of us get wrapped up in. It's not just me or you though – it's a pattern we're taught, over and over, in a thousand small ways.
It's a symptom of having been steeped in capitalism. It's an entire ecosystem that says, "You only need to buy this, and then your problems will be solved." or “Unhappy with your face, house, car, or life? Buy this, and then you won't be.”
The truth is that you never arrive at the once's.
Your mind will always create more to replace them with. And so, you never actually get the chance to arrive at the then's. Once you can see this, you can start to uncouple the once’s from the then’s.
The tomatoes didn't get put away that day, actually. Once I recognized the pattern for what it was, I smiled, shook my head, and was able to go pick up my pen.
We each have the ability, right now, to be in the moment, be at peace, and then choose where we’d like to spend our time. Once we realize that, there's nothing stopping us from doing what we really want to do. In my case, that's writing. Maybe in yours, it is too.
What is the "once, then" thought stopping you from writing?